... Y A N ...
`23.
`EGG.
`Virgo.
`Attitude.
`Pms Queen.
`Sensitive.
`38-ness.
`Irritating.
... LOVEs ...
` twentysix.
` POOH.
` YEOWs.
` JIE MEIs.
` RWDs.
` MONEY.
... desires ...
`Hong Kong Trip 2007.
`Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely" Fragrance.
`2nd pair of Havianas flip flops.
`tons of flats/sandals/pumps.
`Bags Bags Bags!
`LV coin pouch AGAIN.
`E71 mobile phone.
`Coach Wristlet.
`Birthday BKK Trip 09!
`Phuket Trip
`Hong Kong Trip 2010
`GRADUATION!!!
`Adidas Candy Watch.
`Bangkok Trip 08/09
... inspirations ...
`SIEW XIN CHEE.
`LOOPO.
`SENGET SIEW XINYI.
`QASHaron.
`ONG AH BAO.
`TEACHER PEGGIE.
`SUET JING.
` JANICE.
` AMY.
` Chanz
` Denise
`Candice
` Yiling
` Drea
` Karin
` Tannia
` Zi Ting
` Hui Yun
` Jeslyn
` Joyce
` Pearlyn
` Nurina
` Adelene
` Terence
` Vincent
` Annie
` Rashidah
` Rose
... her doings ...
> self-doubt....
> Let it go, girl!
> 柠檬草的味道
> time flies....
> 开始懂了
> STUCKED!
> Unspoken Missessss....
> life is so random.
> I Should Be So Lucky on 14 Dec 2008.
> HERE WE GO!
... memory lane ...
> 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
> 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
> 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
> 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
> 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
> 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
> 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
> 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
> 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
> 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
> 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
> 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
> 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
> 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
> 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
> 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
> 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
> 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
> 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
> 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
> 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
> 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
> 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
> 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
> 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
> 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
> 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
> 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
> 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
> 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
> 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
> 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
> 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
> 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
> 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
> 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
> 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
> 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
> 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
> 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
> 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
> 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
> 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
> 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
> 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
> 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
> 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
> 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
> 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
> 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
> 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
> 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
> 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
> 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
> 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
> 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
> 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
...SHOUT ALL YOU WANT ...
... BIG Thanks To ...
` YOU.
` PEOPLE whom woke me up.
` SUAY-NESS that hit me hard.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
well, when was the last time you were sure about something in life that you wanna accomplish? i guess i never really knew. the level of self-doubt exist the moment i experience set-backs. yes, being negative is my nature.
at times, i really feel like giving up fighting for i what i want. the urge is there, mentally having to go through the same routine each time i face a setback. but a friend gave me this book titled "The Warrior of Light" which pretty much changed my mentally and encouraged me in a different way.
there are so many more things in life I've yet to achieve. hence, r/s setbacks are just part and parcel of life which is not everything. I'm glad I let it go because this was never the right one to begin with.
but then again, this sets me to another level of insecurity when it comes to trusting people and believing in others.
Or should I say I believe in no one except myself? Prison myself in my own world and who will give a F about others? hmmmmmm....being selfish that is, not my nature, but I've to learn how to protect myself from now on.
ARGHhh ranted @ 11:24 AM :|
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Stage 1: Denial.
upon learning the truth, this very first stage is a killer. deemed the most difficult and toughest time in accepting the fact and realising its all gone. well, deny deny deny, pinning the slightest of hope that this is so not true, just like old times, things will be okay after some time. BUT NO! face it!
Stage 2: Anger.
as time goes by, the subconscious self begins accepting the fact. before it hits, anger, emotions and drama shall spark off!
" what a jerk/motherf**ker/bastard" he could be!!!!!! reaction starts to set in. yes, revenge and vent it out all you want! who cares now, got to be ruthless to be kind to oneself, so the bitch is back!!
Stage 3: Acceptance, Moving on!
adaptation to everything without him. the weekends, sms-es, phonecalls, movies and every other else. the bitch is back to her own life and it could get even better! new routines, new lifestyle and she is still who she is, shine with confidence and positivity. there are better options out there awaiting for her to explore, rather than wasting effort and time on such lousy jerk.
Well, may my wishes be with you. For one day, karma will hit you hard. Till then, count your own days.
Finally, two words for you, F**K OFF!!
ARGHhh ranted @ 3:16 PM :|
他们猜我们后来有没有再见
离席了才会晓得怀念
突然我记起你的脸
那触动依然像昨天
对自己我终于也诚实了一点
是不是回忆就是淡淡柠檬草
心酸里又有芳香的味道
曾以为你是全世界但那天已经好遥远
绕一圈我才发现我有更远地平线
我们都没错 只是不适合
我要的我现在才懂得
快乐是我的不是
你给的寂寞要自己负责
毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿
总是要过去以后才了解
突然我记起你的脸
爱不爱 不过一念之间
绕一圈 今天的我能和昨天面对面
我们都没错 只是不适合
亲爱的我当时不懂得
选择是我的不是你给的
明天自己负责
给昨天的我一个拥抱
曾经她不知如何是好
若我们再见我会微笑
谢谢你 谢谢你 我尝过爱的好
我们都没错只是不适合
我要的我现在才懂得
快乐是我的不是你给的
寂寞要自己负责
我要的我现在才懂得
选择是我的不是你给的
幸福要自己负责
错过的请你把握...
ARGHhh ranted @ 3:07 PM :|
Monday, June 29, 2009
its been 5 long years, back in 2004, i've decided to create this little space of my own. looking at the number of posts which is suming up to 1800+ posts in total. "WOW." the best years of my life it has been, be it the good or bad. certainly, there have been quite abit of growing up through the journey.
my rwds. my 38s. my jie meis. my cx family. my bcom3 party bitches. here i am now, trying to strive out on my own. =)
with my recent entries on FB, big thank you to those whom have expressed their concerns and well-wishes. it may seem a tough phase for me now, with the changes i'm trying to adapt on my own, i do not wish to fail myself nor anyone. hence, I WILL PERSERVERE TILL THE END!
time shall heal all wounds. i may be in the denial stage now, because my heart no longer know how to feel. it ran away from facing the truth merely because it was broken and refuse to suffer any further damages.
at times, i wished there was someone to wake me up from my dreams. to accept the fact " its can never be the same, the past has gone, memories to be kept and move on with life." for the simple mere fact that if we were meant to be, we would have been together 3 weeks ago.
someone said this: " He just don't want you, that's all!"
well, how piercing those words were. but yes, that was the reality. i shall not say i'm the victim in this entire messed up situation. i played a part too. the ending was so sudden that i'm lost, not knowing how to carry on with what i've just started. he decided to leave me or push me away when i needed his support the most. i begged. yes BEGGED, which i don't even have any pride or dignity left.
HOW CAN THIS BE ME!!?!?!
I should have known better. thanks to my lack of trust, faith, paranoid and the highly skilled ability of thinking-too-much costing me someone whom I have never realised, was playing a part in my life.
time is my best friend now. day by day, memories sets be back to think of you......
ARGHhh ranted @ 10:18 PM :|
Sunday, June 28, 2009
我竟然没有调头
最残忍那一刻
静静看你走一点都不像我
原来人会变得温柔
是透澈的懂了
爱情是流动的
不由人的何必激动着要理由
相信你只是怕伤害我不是骗我
很爱过谁会舍得
把我的梦摇醒了
宣布幸福不会来了
用心酸微笑去原谅了也翻越了
有昨天还是好的
但明天是自己的
开始懂了
快乐是选择
chance or choice ?
all things happen for a reason, what's meant to be, it will be.
ARGHhh ranted @ 11:30 PM :|
Friday, May 01, 2009
well well well, it all seems so dead here, so i guess since i have time on this very day, I shall vent my emotions!
first and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MUMMY! We are heading for Shangri La for The Line Buffet. =)
I'm practically feeling damn lazy on this very day. My butt is perpetually stucked on my chair, unwilling to get up. there's so much that is running through my mind now. after all those words you have said, its just like the "right-person-wrong-timing" theory again. you dont get my point of view and neither do I get your point of view.
affections are growing as the time goes by. this has to stop somehow, somewhere!! friends are just friends and no more stepping over the line. arghhhhhhh! months or years, whatever it is, move on is the only probable solution but how easy can this be? sometimes, without me knowing, the heart turns cold instead of being kept warm.
someone to take me away pls!
ARGHhh ranted @ 12:57 PM :|
Friday, February 27, 2009
late in the quiet nights, as i sat by, i think of you and you. things that we've done, times we hanged out. kinda of silly i guess. to be feeling the way i've felt just 4 days ago when you broke the news to me personally. i could almost hear the shattering of my heart. well, i guess this is just fate, my fate. having to go through this process everytime i feel something about someone.
the things that i want were never mine. NEVER.
however, i have always see a friend in you. even though i used to believe that i'll never find a real friend through this cyber world. you broke my rule, you were the exception. i've send you my well-wishes as well as the little favour you've asked for, so move on. i would miss the times the way we chat on MSN almost every night, till you fall asleep without ending the conversation. the times when we discuss about car stuffs like there's no tomorrow, meet up just to see cars and chill out with our favourite drinks. i missed you, my friend. =(
as for another you..... yes, unspoken misses! damn, why do you have to always come back and MIA again my life. when i don't get to see you, i missed you, or rather the times we had together. you would always have a way to deal with me, yet i have nothing and so vunerable when dealing with you. how can i ever forget us?
time will heal every wound, but will time heal unspoken misses???
ARGHhh ranted @ 1:53 AM :|
Thursday, February 19, 2009
YES I'M STILL ALIVE, in case people are wondering where the hell have I been to. I'm still here, no changes or happenings to talk about and thus, the laziness refrain me from blogging.
Random. tell me about it. people come and go randomly in my life, things happen so randomly and i've yet to figure for myself what I really want in life. full of uncertainties and my only goal now is to get myself a job at this darn bad economy situation. every little step or decision that i'm going to take now concerns my future. it's so vexing to come to a decision and i'm losing directions each day goes by!
yeap, that's about it for the past 2 months of 2009, feeling lost and broke to begin with. well, speaking of which someone just randomly appeared after MIA-ing for the past 4 months. this should not be affecting me at all because it's all so not worth it. the process of going through to forget someone, the pain that to let go and just by striking a random conversation is going to put all my efforts to waste. DARN IT.
Relationships are almost unpredictable and vulnerable. Yes, it does bring about the most wonderful feeling and amazing love between 2 people. But why has it all got to go through the pain in which the people around me are experiencing. It should be beautiful, not unbeautiful.
Is there true love to speak about in this real world?
LOST.
Random. tell me about it. people come and go randomly in my life, things happen so randomly and i've yet to figure for myself what I really want in life. full of uncertainties and my only goal now is to get myself a job at this darn bad economy situation. every little step or decision that i'm going to take now concerns my future. it's so vexing to come to a decision and i'm losing directions each day goes by!
yeap, that's about it for the past 2 months of 2009, feeling lost and broke to begin with. well, speaking of which someone just randomly appeared after MIA-ing for the past 4 months. this should not be affecting me at all because it's all so not worth it. the process of going through to forget someone, the pain that to let go and just by striking a random conversation is going to put all my efforts to waste. DARN IT.
Relationships are almost unpredictable and vulnerable. Yes, it does bring about the most wonderful feeling and amazing love between 2 people. But why has it all got to go through the pain in which the people around me are experiencing. It should be beautiful, not unbeautiful.
Is there true love to speak about in this real world?
LOST.
ARGHhh ranted @ 10:35 PM :|
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
after such a longggggg time, yes i'm still alive if you ever wonder where the heck have i have been. hmmmm, i wonder who still pop by to see this entry.
anyways, EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! yes, hopefully i will graduate from Murdoch University when i pass my final 3 modules. prayyyyyy.
its my moment to end my student life, yes i know i'm so going to miss the life of a student but yet i cant wait to get my ass out there and see what i've got to take me far. job hunting begins but before that, its going to be a holidays till 2009. =)
i can't wait for 2008 to end cause it's been a damn dramatic year for me. the bad, the good and worse, the jerks. arghhhh! i'm seriously never gonna forget 12 Feb 2008 and 14 Dec 2008, those f-ing dramatic moments of the year. argggghhhhh!
emo emo emo. how lucky can i get to bump into 2 cars consecutively on the road within 10 minutes and within the same area? i was stunt, dumfounded and affected. i'm gonna get lucky by buying their carplate numbers. SERIOUSLY.
thanks to you, i'm never gonna get out.
will 2009 come faster?
ARGHhh ranted @ 12:39 AM :|
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
NEW LIFE AHEAD. =)
Time to embrace the future, pick up where I fell from and search for a new self.
3 cheers to WEN YAN!! my final 2 months!!
ARGHhh ranted @ 1:20 AM :|
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
YES. everytime i'm back to my blog posts, it's never anything good.
FATE has been fooling me, playing me out big time. this is the 3rd time, and i thought it would be different, but then again, no difference, i've got played out again!!
blame it on myself, for receiving the WRONG message. anyway, get over it and get a life. i have more things to do then being emo over such stuffs.
JUST NOT MEANT TO BE.
CRUSH GONE.
ARGHhh ranted @ 12:43 AM :|